Garden of Swedes

Yesterday we were so impressed with our aimless walk over and around Petrin Hill we decided to visit another nearby garden and two other islands on the Vltva River (the Germans call it the Moldau). Finding the entrance to the Wallenstein garden was quite the task as the garden appears surrounded by a 15 foot wood and stucco wall. Any moment I expected to find someone attired with bright clothing and a turban with a rope ladder selling “Napínavý Přístup” (Exciting Access) to the Wallenstein Garden and Palace. Perhaps this is because we started to venture into the lovely garden entry of the Indian Consulate.

Half way around the triangular shaped block we found a doorway or portal into a new world. The tall walls, and short, sparse, 10 foot tall trees that look like rows of imitation Christmas trees a chain saw wielding gardener might design when square trees were desired, was different than anything I’ve ever seen. Add multi-colored and lacey white peacocks, fountains with steady solitary streams of water flowing into ponds, mythical statues spearing and wrestling with serpents and dragons, and of course square trees, and you can see why it’s so different. Speaking of the steady streams of water reminds me that I haven’t seen a WC (Water Closet aka toilet) in a while.

There is a good lesson to be learned at this palace and garden. It was designed to surpass the splendor of Prague Castle. After it was completed, Albrecht Wenzel von Wallenstein, Duke of Mecklenburg, (middle name sounds like Denzel Washington but there is no apparent relationship) the owner furnished it with fancy tapestries, frescos, and all the things a Duke would want. After a year living in the new palace, the King whose castle is just up the hill, rather like the ultimate landlord, had the Duke killed. Then 14 years later the Swedes invaded Prague and stole everything except the frescos. If the beer wasn’t so good they probably would have stolen them too. Today the treasures can be seen at the Haagen Dazs museum in Sweden. The Czechs have replaced the treasured art pieces with replicas which can currently been seen in the garden.

The lesson to this story beyond “never believe anything Bob says”, is never build a home nicer than your boss’ especially when he lives within view of your castle and keep an eye out to the west for the Swedes.

This story would have been much richer if the Norwegians had been the invading force. We have several prominent members of our neighborhood in Sequim that are Norwegian. One, let’s call him Arnold for this blog, is always telling “Square head” Norwegian jokes. Arnold is an 80 something year old “man of steel” Norwegian, who can often be seen swinging a chainsaw or perched atop his tractor looking for hillsides to level.

Unfortunately, the Vikings have always lagged the Swedes in large scale armed invasions. In addition, they would have been poorly matched in their dragon tipped long ships (drakkar) against the Czech monolithic tour boats that currently ply the Valtva. If they had invaded and stayed, today we might see burley Norseman standing at the entrance to the Charles Bridge dragging Czechs and the hordes of Italian tourist into their boats for a river tour. “Mama Mia, look at those square trees lining Kampa Island”!